House Values
by MarysMoon
Summary: Sirius Black has just lost his best friends. James and Lily are gone. Remus is MIA. Peter is a traitor. Harry, his godson, has been taken from him. Albus Dumbledore can't be trusted. And everything he thought he knew about the world is now not so clear. But if he was so wrong about Dumbledore, then maybe he was wrong about his family? Cross posted on Ao3.
1. Chapter 1

Heir Sirius Black took a deep breath. He looked one last time at the ruins of the Potter Cottage in Godric's Hollow before apparating to his childhood home. It had been over five years since he had last stepped foot in number 12 Grimmauld Place. Five years since he had been unofficially disowned by his mother. But when he landed on the doorstep, the house was the same, standing tall as it always had through the years. Sirius wasn't sure how his mother may have changed the wards of the house after he ran away to live with the Potter's at fifteen. It felt like he just wasn't sure of anything anymore.

He was 21 now, and Lily and James were gone. He felt broken. So broken and the only thing he wanted right now, besides his best friend and Lily back, was the encompassing warmth and comfort of the Black family magic.

His parents were right. Dumbledore was lying, manipulative, and murderous beyond anything Sirius had ever even read about. And with the Black family library, that was saying something. It was because of Dumbledore Lily and James were dead, and his sweet godson was taken from him.

James and Lily were gone. But Harry lived. Harry lived but he wasn't with Sirius like he should have been.

Sirius had the classic features of a member of the House of Black: his slightly aquiline nose, strong jaw, chiseled cheekbones, and thick wavy black hair. There was no doubt just whose family he belonged to, and it was as much a blessing as a curse at times. Just a few days ago even, he loathed how much he looked like a son of Black. He loathed looking into the mirror and seeing a younger version of his father in the sharpness of his cheeks and the bridge of his brow, seeing his mothers sharp eyes boring back into him. He remembered loving how he escaped the dark, hooded eyes that featured in the Black line for stormy grey eyes instead. But now? Now that two of his best friends were killed on the order of the same man he turned his back on his family for; now that his godson, his blood-adopted child, was hidden away from him, stolen and out of reach; now he was thankful to look in the mirror and see generations of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black staring back at him.

Hagrid had demanded Harry on the orders of Albus Dumbledore. Shell-shocked, Sirius had known that he stood no chance of fighting off the half-giant-especially without risking harm to Harry in the cross-fire-so all he could do was hand him over and begin to plot how to get him back. Permanently.

So here he was. Former white sheep of the Black family, ready to beg on his knees for help.


	2. Chapter 2

The heavy door of Grimmauld Place swung open. Startled, Sirius looked up into the scowling face of his grandfather Arcturus. Without even a greeting, Sirius was grabbed by the front of his robes and dragged into the house, door slamming behind them.

Neither man spoke. Sirius could feel the family magics circling him, warm and familiar. But the silence. The silence was cold and oppressing. He supposed that in a way, it made it all seem even more familiar.

His grandfather grabbed his face between his hands. Hands that used to hold Sirius for hours when he was a young boy. Hands that showed Sirius how to trace the letters in the alphabet and throw a quaffle the right way and tie a bowtie and…

His grip was firm, dark eyes meeting Sirius's own grey as they searched for something. Sirius understood. He let down his occulemency walls, the only thing keeping him from fully breaking down over and over again, and let his grandfather into his mind.

The night replayed itself in his mind. The feeling of dark foreboding. Searching for Peter at his apartment. Racing to Godric's Hollow. Finding James—oh merlin and morgana James was dead-finding James lying broken on the floor, eyes glassy and wide with fear. Running up the stairs to find Lily—poor fiery, beautiful, Lily—on the floor, green eyes missing their light. Grabbing Harry, his sweet lovely godson bound to him by blood and magic, who was screaming and crying and bleeding. And then…

And then Hagrid. Hagrid taking Harry.

And all Sirius could think about after losing that lingering weight and warmth from his baby, was revenge. Revenge was something the Blacks knew well. But he couldn't do it alone.

Dumbledore swore the Potters would be safe. He swore Peter wasn't a spy, and that when he was acting shifty or strange, or came to Order meetings late or left early, it was on Dumbledore's orders. The manipulative old man managed to convince the Potters and Sirius that Peter was a better choice for being the secret keeper.

These memories, too, were brought to the front of Sirius's mind for his grandfather to scrutinize.

Arcturus was also able to see Sirius's realization that his hatred of his family hadn't truly come until after his sorting, when the headmaster called him up to his office for a meeting. Acting very kind and concerned for his well-being, Dumbledore managed to plant seeds of doubt into his mind. Wasn't his family just going to be so disappointed in him?

_Don't worry, my boy, I'm sure Gryffindor will show you just how warm and welcoming family can be. You'll find your path there._

_Your parents shouldn't be too disappointed. It's always common though when a child goes against family tradition. I'm sure it will be nothing though._

Sirius had been raised to spot manipulation and deceit from the cradle. But, Albus Dumbledore was a master at the game, and had fooled grown men much smarter than he.

* * *

For what seemed like hours, Sirius and Arcturus went deep into the younger man's memories. With each one brought forth, it became clearer and clearer just how deeply Sirius had been influenced by his once respected headmaster.

Finally, the Black patriarch pulled gently from his grandson's mind.

"So, it wasn't you." Was all he said.

"I don't understand." Sirius replied, bewildered at this statement. "What wasn't me?"

"You weren't the secretkeeper." Arcturus replied. "Come. We must take this conversation to the study."

Without further ado, the man swept passed Sirius, fine robes elegantly billowing out behind him as he headed towards the Lord's study. With a confused shrug, Sirius followed obediently. He hadn't been thrown out yet, so he was certainly not about to put up any kind of fuss.

* * *

"You have a problem." Arcturus said.

"Yes?" Sirius was confused. Yes, he had many problems at the moment. But which one was his grandfather talking about?

"Aurors were just here, asking if we knew of your whereabouts." The Lord Black said seriously, moving to sit down behind the imposing wood desk. "They have a warrant for your arrest for the murders of James and Lily Potter."

"WHAT?" Sirius yelled. "That's insane!"

"It is. But unfortunately, it seems they have the backing of the Minister due to testimony given by the Chief Warlock."

"Dumbledore?!" Sirius yelled again. The old man knew that Sirius was innocent. He was the one who suggested the switch in the first place.

"The Chief Warlock has stated that he knew you were the secret keeper because Peter Pettigrew informed him of a switch between secret keepers. Because of that, they are calling for your immediate arrest." Seeing that Sirius was gearing up for another bout of yelling, he quickly cut him off. "I already informed the aurors that I did not know where you were. Now that I do, however, we need to act quickly. I called our attorneys. They will be here within the hour to help us compile all the evidence we need—your memories, and a few pre-written questions to ask with veritaserum. Once that is done, tomorrow morning we will go to the DMLE all together and end this."

Sirius was speechless. He had expected to be either thrown out, cursed out, or completely verbally eviscerated at the very least by his patriarch. But instead, he was helping him clear his name without even being asked.

Seeing his shock, Arcturus explained with a piercing look, "I knew you were innocent. You loved that Potter boy enough to leave your family permanently. Of course you wouldn't betray him. You are a Black; and we Blacks are loyal to those we love, always. Keep that in mind."

Nodding his head mutely, Sirius contemplated his grandfather's words. He believed him. He knew him. Even after all these years. And beyond that, it seemed he still cared.

With a surge of affection welled up in Sirius. In his quest to separate himself from his Slytherin family after his sorting, it seems he repressed all the good qualities in his relatives. His grandfather had always been on his side. Always. Sirius would not disappoint him again.

"Now," Lord Black interrupted his thoughts, "is there anything else you need me to know or do?"

Sirius swallowed. While it seemed like his grandfather was ready to accept him back into the family, he didn't know how he would feel about Sirius raising the half-blood son of a light wizard and muggleborn witch. While Sirius was his blood-sworn godfather, and had even added an additional blood adoption to the ritual, it didn't change the fact that Harry was the son of Lily and James. He had to try though. If his family accepted them both, then there would be no greater protection for Harry.

"My godson, Harry. He was taken from me on Dumbledore's orders. I couldn't stop Hagrid. Not without putting Harry in danger. He's mine though. My blood. James and Lily asked me to raise him if…if anything should happen to them. I don't know where he is now." At this Sirius's voice turned even more pleading. "I need him back. He's more than my godson!"

Arcturus gave him a sharp look at this. "Black blood runs through his veins then?"

"Yes. He's technically my son as well." Sirius nodded.

With a heavy sigh, Arcturus sat back in his chair. He looked off to the side as he contemplated this new situation.

"Alright. The boy is a Black now. He belongs with us. Once your name is cleared we'll go to the Department Magical Children's Welfare."

All of the tension still left in Sirius's body drained out. Slumping down, he could only close his eyes and take a deep breath.

"Thank you, Lord Black." He said formally.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: ****Thank you so much for reading my story! I never thought I'd have so many favorites and follows. And thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I apologize for the delay in posting this chapter-I had a big exam I was studying for. Now that I am done, I hope to be able to post more frequently! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

The meeting with the Black family attorneys went well—Cushing and Pryce had worked with House Black for generations. They copied his memories: Dumbledore suggesting the switch, the ritual which made Peter the Secret Keeper, and what happened when Sirius went to Godric's Hollow. They also drafted up an acceptable oath Sirius could take, should it be found necessary by the DMLE, swearing he had never been the secret keeper or took part in the betrayal of the Potter's leading to their deaths. Finally, they compiled a list of questions that would be acceptable for the DMLE to ask with veritaserum.

Sirius was made to change into a pair of his dad's formal robes, to make him match his grandfather's own imposing image before the four men flooed to the Ministry.

"Wands and names?" A bored security guard asked at the checkpoint. Handing them over to be registered, the guard did a double take at Sirius' name. No doubt, he had been made aware of the arrest warrant. Puffing up his chest he said officiously, "Sir, I'm going to have to take you into custody."

"You are not qualified to take him into custody. In any case, we are here to speak to Rufus Scrimgeour." Thomas Cushing said coldly. "Under the 1701 Woods act, if a suspect arrives at the ministry asking to go to the DMLE himself, he is free to do so of his own accord and without escort needed. The only thing you are required to do is send a memo to the DMLE that they should expect us shortly. As you have already registered him, and there is no way to exit this building without passing by this checkpoint, I believe we are free to make our way up."

Properly cowed, the guard did just that.

* * *

The DMLE was a bustling place.

Aurors in their deep red robes hurried from one desk to the next, and popped in and out of the restricted apparition zone in the back left corner. Mounds and mounds of paper work was haphazardly strew about desks and the floor. No doubt the department was busy dealing with the aftermath of out-of-control celebrations, and death eater retaliations.

Surprisingly, no one looked twice at the imposing quartet as they walked quickly and confidently straight through the chaos and towards the back offices of the senior aurors and head of the DMLE. A harried secretary stopped them and asked if they had an appointment with Scrimgeour, before squeaking when she recognized both Lord Black and Sirius Black. Apparently, their reputations preceded them. Rushing through the office doors behind her, they could hear her telling Scrimgeour of their arrival.

Rufus Scrimgeour resembled a lion. With a mane of reddish hair, deep scowl bordering on sneer perpetually on his face, and prowl-like walk, it was often rumored that the man was in fact a lion animagus who spent too much time in his form.

He had quickly risen through the ranks as a formidable auror. It had not taken much time for him to be promoted from junior auror to senior, then to Head of the DMLE entirely. His reputation was one of shrewdness and toughness. Lord Black was sure that once presented with the facts, Scrimgeour would not put up a fuss about clearing Sirius's name. The man was not one known to create scapegoats, and as technically the DMLE had done nothing wrong…yet…there wasn't anything to cover up or make disappear.

"So, you've found Sirius Black. Unfortunately, I'll have to immediately place him under arrest. Based on the evidence gathered so far by Bartemius Crouch Sr., young Mr. Black will have to await trial in Azkaban." Scrimgeour said quickly, forgoing any of the necessary formalities.

"I think not." Arcturus said silkily, his dark eyes flashed dangerously. "My grandson, _Heir _Sirius Black, is innocent. He's willing to swear so under oath or veritaserum, as needed."

At this Scrimgeour paused, visibly shocked by this bold statement.

"Going to claim imperious then?" He sneered.

"Are you being deliberately obtuse, or are you really that stupid?" Arcturus was so done. "Even if he did claim imperious—which he most certainly is not—a wizard's oath and veritaserum would ensure that he was telling the truth. So what exactly are you trying to insinuate?"

Arcturus rested a hand on his seething grandson's shoulder. With a vicious curl of his lip, Arcturus continued, "Watch yourself, Scrimgeour. If I were you, I'd be very careful about throwing accusations out like that without any evidence."

"Fine then. What's your claim?"

"As Head of the DMLE, you should be aware of the fact that another auror must be present when an _accused_ is giving testimony." Attorney Cushing shot in.

"Of course." Scrimgeour now looked like he was sucking on a lemon, but nonetheless called for Auror Moody to come assist. Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody was a well-seasoned auror. He'd been there a few years longer than Scrimgeour, but was more interested in the fieldwork over any type of bureaucratic position.

A common Misconception with old Mad-Eye was that he was firmly anti-dark. Even Scrimgeour was under this impression, which—Lord Black assumed—is why he chose him to assist with the Black case. Mad-eye was actually a grey wizard. He was a firm believer that neither dark nor light was inherently good or evil, and instead fought for justice—justice according to Lady Magic's ancient rules, that is.

As such, he had no bias towards the Black family in general, as they were also practitioners of the old ways. He despised certain members, but not the house as a whole. He and Alphard Black were actually quite close.

Auror Moody was a consummate professional though as he entered the tension-filled room.

Without further ado, Attorney Cushing handed out copies of the pre-written vow for the aurors to read over. After it was deemed sufficient to prove Sirius innocent beyond a reasonable doubt, Sirius raised his wand, and swore on his life and magic that he had never been a death eater, had never been the Secret Keeper for James and Lily. After taking the oath, and demonstrating that he still had his magic (and his life), he signed a copy of the vow in blood, just to cover all areas. The signed copy was then recopied for the ministry, and for each person in the room.

Moody stomped out of the room grumpily, muttering under his breath how obviously Sirius wouldn't have betrayed James (who had been trained under Moody as a junior auror) so this whole thing had been a waste of time. Sirius shook his hand and then left with his grandfather and attorneys to head to the DMCW. Time to get Harry back.

* * *

The DMCW was a considerably more cheerful environment than any other ministry department. Granted, it did deal with children so it was meant to be a welcoming environment, but even so it went above and beyond to create a warm atmosphere. Wizarding children were precious, and this department took the protection of young witches and wizards quite seriously.

Sirius took the lead when they were lead to the next open agent. They were introduced to a friendly looking witch in her 40s, named June Crofton.

"How can I help you, sir?"

"I'm here in regards to the custody of my godson." Sirius tried to keep the desperation out of his voice.

"Alright, what's the issue?" Ms. Crofton asked.

"His parents just…died…I am his blood-sworn godfather, and am listed as having sole custody in both their wills. But he was taken from me by a third party and placed somewhere else. I don't know where he is, but he should be with me."

At this the witch frowned deeply.

"What's the child's name?"

"Harry James Potter." Sirius held his breath, but she didn't react to the name.

"Alright, was your blood-oath registered through Gringotts?"

"Yes, ma'am. I know James and Lily also registered their wills with Gringotts as well."

She nodded her head, and quickly wrote down a request for the wills and the blood-oath and sent it through a letterbox on her desk to Gringotts. While they waited for the paperwork to come through, she asked for more information about how Harry had been taken. She looked very angry when she realized that it was basically a kidnapping, and even angrier when she realized that he had been illegally placed somewhere by Albus Dumbledore.

"He has absolutely no right, even as Chief Warlock, to take a child from rightful guardians and place them anywhere he pleases. That is a serious breach of protocol, and I will be filing a report on this!" She fumed. Meanwhile, the letterbox to Gringotts started to glow a soft blue, indicating the papers had come through.

"Here we go," Ms. Crofton reached into the box and grabbed the bundle of parchment. She steadily went through each document, taking notes on their case file. Minutes later she looked up with a stony face.

Sirius gulped, impressed and a little afraid of how such a friendly looking woman became so scary in an instant.

"Heir Black, your custody is indisputable. As you are his blood-sworn godfather, Harry James Potter is technically your son. There is no reason for him to not be in your custody. Right now, we don't know where he has been placed. Lady Lily Potter has a muggle sister, correct? First we will check her house to see if she has Harry."

At this, Sirius looked horrified. Petunia was a terrible person, and he hoped to Merlin and Morgana that Harry hadn't been placed with the magic-hating muggle. Clearing his throat he asked, "Do you have reason to believe Harry was placed there?"

"Yes. This isn't the first time Albus Dumbledore has tried to overstep his bounds as Chief Warlock and/or Headmaster when it comes to custody issues. Frequently he tries to argue for muggle-born and half-blood children to stay with their muggle relatives, even if the environment is…less than ideal. My first guess would be that he placed young Harry with is muggle aunt.

Today, I will personally be going to her house to check. If he is there and living in unacceptable conditions or if she knew she was not the legal guardian, then I will press charges against her. This will be a ministry case, so you won't have to be involved if you don't want to."

At this Sirius looked more relieved. Ms. Crofton screamed professionalism in this moment. She had a plan, and his godson would be safe with him.

Lord Black had stayed silent this entire exchange, knowing his grandson needed to prove that he was responsible and mature enough to handle this issue on his own. He was proud of him. "When will Harry be placed back with Sirius?"

Ms. Crofton looked at him with an aura of determination. "Harry will be back where he belongs, with Heir Sirius Black, either this evening or tomorrow at the latest."

Satisfied, Lord Black stood up and kissed the air above her proffered hand. "You have our gratitude, Ms. Crofton."

"I'm just doing what's right." She replied graciously.

Sirius followed his grandfather's example and thanked her profusely, before the men took their leave.

* * *

Arcturus and Sirius returned to Grimmauld Place, both quite pleased with how their morning had gone so far.

Sirius' joy was cut short though by his parents waiting for him in the library.

"Mother. Father." He greeted cautiously.

"Sirius." Orion Black returned. He was an imposing man: standing tall and broad, with the typical aristocratic Black features, and a powerful magical aura. When Sirius had been younger, he had always admired his dad. He was intimidating, but so soft with his family. Sirius remembered how his dad would let him climb all over him, and hang off his back like a limpet. He had always let Sirius come to him with his hurts and fears, without judgment. It seemed like that had all changed a few years before he left for Hogwarts. Orion seemed to distance himself from Sirius, and spent more and more time with Regulus.

Walburga Black remained silent. Grey eyes—Sirius's eyes—stone cold as they took in her son. Sirius hated her. Or at least he tried to. Nothing Sirius did had ever been good enough for her, while Regulus had been her perfect, precious little son. All Sirius remembered of her was Walburga harping on him to be more like Regulus and just be good and listen and not be such a disappointment and…

Consumed by the sight of his parents, and all the old wounds it brought up, Sirius didn't even realize his grandfather had left the room.

"You've come home then." His father continued, deep voice echoing in the dark library.

"Yes."

"Temporarily, or permanently?"

Sirius swallowed, feeling like a lost little boy again. "Permanently?"

"You don't sound sure."

"No. I just—dad—father…" Too many emotions were welling up inside his chest. He felt like he was going to explode.

His father crossed over to him and grasped his face in his large hands—unknowingly mimicking Arcturus. "I'm happy you're back home, son. We've missed you. I have a meeting now, but we'll talk when I get home later. Okay?" He pressed a kiss to Sirius's forehead and allowed his son to bury into his chest for a moment.

"It'll be okay. I love you, Sirius." His father's parting words brought tears to Sirius's eyes. He didn't realize just how much he longed to hear those words from him again.

His father left Sirius to pull himself back together as his mother stood still as a statue. She just looked at him coldly, unmoved.

"Mother." Sirius sighed, turning towards her. He was already gearing up for a fight.

"So you've come crawling back." Was all she stated.

"What do you want?" He couldn't help but snarl. Damn if she just didn't get under his skin.

She hissed back with bared teeth, "For you to not have been such a disappointment! And now you come crawling back like you didn't betray your family, your parents, your brother!"

"Ah Regulus. I never could be like your perfect little Regulus," Sirius sneered, triggered at the mention of his little brother. His little brother who had died a death eater just a year ago.

"Quiet." His mother hissed sharply. "You know nothing. Nothing about what I wanted for you."

"Sure I did! I was never enough. Never good enough or smart enough or—"

"You were! You were but you refused to let yourself be!" For the first time in years, Sirius saw his mother lose her mask. "Don't you see, Sirius Orion? I wanted the world for you. You were my baby. My first-born. Not just the heir. But because you were the heir, I _had_ to treat you differently. You were so good. So good and so kind and so trusting. But you were heir Black, and you couldn't be."

Her voice started to crack. Sirius could only stare at his mother-his beautiful mother who once doted on him, before seemingly turning against him.

"When you were seven, you're grandfather took you to a session of the Wizengamot. Do you remember that?"

"I do." He whispered.

"Your grandfather was trying to get a bill passed that would help dark creatures, like werewolves, be unable to be fired because of their creature status. It was an excellent bill, one your grandfathers had worked on for months. It was all the talked about, and even you would start joining in their conversations and planning sessions." Walburga smoothed her robes and sat in the high backed chair by the fireplace. Kreacher silently popped in with a tea tray, and Sirius instinctively made to pour some, first for his mother, then for himself. He dropped heavily into the chair opposite hers.

"I remember." He said eventually. "I remember how excited everyone was when they hammered out all the details. Abraxas Malfoy came over at one point, didn't he?"

"Yes." Walburga said, taking a sip of her tea. "I was so proud of you then. How hard you tried to help your father and grandfather. How much you tried to be like them. So proud. But when you were at the Wizengamot session, and your grandfather presented his bill, Chief Warlock Dumbledore happened. He managed to twist every word into a negative. Because he was so the so called "Leader of the Light" who had an ill-founded reputation for supporting creature's rights, and because he opposed the bill—just because it was presented by Lord Black, mind you—there was a 70-30 vote against the bill, with no chance of appeal. It was devastating.

After everyone came back to the house, all you could talk about was how the Chief Warlock must be a great man, a smart man. Despite the fact that he opposed your family, and derailed our goals, you thought he was…" She struggled for words, sneering even at the memory. "He was your hero."

Sirius didn't remember that part.

"So, yes. I became much more strict with you." She looked straight into his eyes, the eyes he inherited from her. "I had to be, because I knew what that man was capable of; and I knew what he would do if he even had a whisper of an idea that the Black heir was sympathetic to him."

"All those lessons on politics and traditions and etiquette and light/dark…that was just, what? You trying to re-indoctrinate me?" Sirius asked incredulously. "You just trying to keep me a good little heir to a dark family?"

"See? You still buy all that poison. Have you not learned yet, Sirius? Dark is not evil. Your family is _not evil_. Look at what we have done. Look at what your beloved leader of the light has done. Did you not come back to us for a reason? Or did I get my hopes up for nothing?"

"I don't…" Sirius didn't know what to say to that, really.

"Albus Dumbledore never wanted you for you. To him, you were just another heir. One he could manipulate and use. You were a pawn. Merlin and Morgana, he tried to have you thrown in Azkaban without a trial, even though he _knew_ with absolute certainty that you were innocent, all because you had no more use to him!" She was shouting now, standing up with clenched fists. This was more familiar. But the words she was saying were not.

"You are _my_ son._ My_ son! I brought you into this world. Loved you. Cared for you. Only wanted to see you live a long and happy life! And when you suddenly started to hero-worship that filthy, manipulative, hypocritical dictator-in-disguise, _yes_ I became harsher with you. Because I needed you to survive! I needed you to be stronger. I didn't want to lose you." She all but collapsed back into her chair. His mother had always seemed strong. Petite though she was, she was never fragile looking. But in this moment, Sirius felt like he may have just broken her.

"I did lose you though. And then I lost Regulus." Walburga's voice was now barely a whisper.

Sirius couldn't stand seeing her like this. She was supposed to be strong. No matter what, his mother had always been a force to be reckoned with. It's why it had been so easy to break away from the family—because he was also so sure that his mother was strong. He did this.

He left her. Left his family. Left his little brother. Maybe if he hadn't deserted them all, and looked after his little brother like he was supposed to, maybe Reggie wouldn't have been murdered at eighteen. And certainly his mother would be like this.

He quickly crossed the distance between them and knelt at her feet. Taking one pale, cold hand in his, he looked up into his mother's eyes; once more feeling like a child.

"I'm sorry." Was all he could say.

Despite trying to hide it for years, Sirius was Walburga's son. They were more similar than anything, and their matching tempers never ended well. Except for now. Because Sirius was tired of fighting. He was tired of denying who he was and who his family was.

He missed his mother. And he had hurt her deeply when he left. Sirius saw that now.

All he could do was press a kiss to the knuckles of the hand he clutched and whisper how sorry he was over and over again.

Slowly, Walburga's other hand lifted from her lap to rest in his hair. Gently running her fingers through the fine black strands, she looked into his eyes, nodded once, and whispered, "I love you, Sirius."

There were years of hurt to overcome-years of resentment and anger from both of them. This was a start though: a silent promise from mother and son to try and move forward.

**A/N 2: I feel like I should clarify one point. In my story, Arcturus remains Lord Black. Orion is technically Heir Apparent, and Sirius Heir Presumptive. Although, in this I am making it so that the Heir Presumptive of House Black in particular, cannot be removed from the line of succession unless formally disowned, family magics reject the heir, or the heir dies. Each Ancient Wizarding Family has their own rules and bylaws for succession. As Sirius was never actually disowned or voted out, he remains Heir Presumptive. Once his father becomes Lord Black, Sirius's title will change to Heir Apparent, and a new Heir Presumptive will be chosen.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi everyone! Long time no see (write...).**

**Thank you so much to everyone who has read/favorited/followed/commented/etc. Especially as I haven't updated in...6 months?**

**Life has been...life. Mental health, family stuff, work stuff...it all piles up on you. So to anyone out there going through The Struggle. You're not alone. And even if it's not okay now, or doesn't feel like it will be okay ever again. You'll get there. Just hang in there and remember that is is okay to not be okay sometimes, as long as you remember that it won't be like that forever.**

**Okay, enough with the heavy stuff.**

**Apologies in advance for any typos/errors (feel free to point them out to me). I was a bit too eager in getting this chapter out...**

**Please enjoy this short chapter!**

**Chapter 4**

Harry was sleeping. His poor godson was exhausted. He had immediately cried out for Sirius upon seeing him. The portkey had been jarring for the young boy, but even through his disorientation he recognized his father. Neither Sirius nor Harry were willing to let each other go, so Sirius sat in one of the chairs in the main parlor and (gently) cuddled Harry to pieces.

Getting him from the Dursley's—Lily's awful muggle sister and her even worse husband—was both more easy and more difficult than anticipated.

Ms. Crofton had personally done all the work, just as promised; and, apparently had even more to do. The woman was on a warpath against Dumbledore. According to her, getting Petunia to let them in (with minimal threats) had been a trial, but getting her to sign over custody was easy (she practically threw herself over the kitchen table in her haste to get to the document). Seeing Harry locked away in a cupboard was more than difficult—resisting the urge to murder the foul woman who called herself a mother was also incredibly difficult. Scooping up the small child had been easy (Harry had all but thrown himself into her arms), realizing that he had nothing but a small blanket to take had been absolutely rage-inducing.

Still, Ms. Crofton was able to take him to the DMCW's healer who helped clear up the diaper rash, provide a short regimen of nutrition supplements to make up for the two days on minimal food/milk, heal the not-so small bruises all over Harry's small body, and runs some tests on the strange magical signature emanating from the cut on his forehead. All of this was officially recorded for use in a trial—should it be needed. (It would.)

With a promise to owl Sirius later with more details on her investigation of Dumbledore and the healer's test results, Ms. Crofton took her leave. The Black family needed time to settle.

—

It was almost lunch when Sirius was finally able to relax. Harry, more reassured by his bondfather's presence and the protective feeling from the Black family magic, was able to leave Sirius's hold explore his new surroundings. On stumbling legs, he made his way over to Walburga who scooped him up into her own lap.

"Hello my little love. I'm your grandmother." she cooed softly. Her usual apathetic mask melted away, and Sirius felt his breath catch at seeing his mother so sweet again. She used to look at him like that.

It was too much.

Harry would be more than fine with his mother while he stepped out of the room using the excuse of telling Kreacher to start lunch. His mother paused her adoration to give him a knowing look. He ignored it.

He found Kreacher on the second floor near a few of the spare bedrooms used for visiting relatives. The old elf was dusting the portraits but paused for a moment when he realized Sirius was there.

"Bad young master has returned he has." Kreacher muttered darkly. "Bad young master who gave Kreacher's poor master and mistress so much grief."

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes. "Hello to you too Kreacher. I've missed you as well."

"Bad young master acts as if he didn't abandon poor Kreacher."

The elf had helped raised Sirius and Regulus, and while generally grumpy, he had been a very good nanny elf to them. Sirius's resentment of the elf had grown around the time he had started to resent Regulus as well. It was a growing mess of feelings.

"I'm sorry, Kreacher. I shouldn't have left or been so mean."

Kreacher continued to mutter to himself, as if he hadn't heard Sirius at all.

"My son is here…" Sirius hedged. "He's a good boy, but needs an excellent nanny elf to help look after him…"

The old elf paused his dusting and muttering. House elves loved taking care of magical children. Just as they loved taking care of magical families. They became immensely territorial and protective over their wards—in part because it was a huge honor to be entrusted with the care of a child. Kreacher had always taken his role seriously, and while he would have never dared say so to the Lord and Lady Black, he was often heard lamenting that he hadn't had more babies to look after.

"Bad young master thinks he can bribe Kreacher."

Sirius sighed again. He walked purposely over to the elf and knelt down. "It's not a bribe. Well it kind of is. But it's also me realizing how much you did for me when I was younger, and how much I put you and my family through. There's no other elf I would trust more to take care of my son."

This had Kreacher finally looking at him. "Fine. Kreacher takes care of young master and young master's Harry. Young master Sirius is too skinny again."

Relieved that he had earned forgiveness, Sirius stood up and began to follow the elf to the kitchens.

"Oh! Harry needs these potions added to his food. The muggles didn't feed him well." Sirius informed Kreacher, before handing him the potions Ms. Crofton had left.

Before Kreacher could start on his furious rants about "muggle filth" Sirius booked it back to the parlor.

—

It was nearing midnight and Sirius couldn't sleep. Harry had woken up an hour ago from a nightmare. Kreacher had agreed to let Sirius go to him, as the young boy still needed to get used to having a house elf around. The young father lifted his boy up into his arms and gently rocked him back to sleep.

If only Sirius himself could be settled so easily. The image of his mother, face full of love again as she stared down at his son, was embedded in his mind. She used to look at him like that, then him and Regulus, then just Regulus. Sirius had been greedy for that look. For his parent's love. He had felt it slipping, and tried to act out to get more attention from them. But all it did was keep him further away from his family. Regulus was the good boy. And while Sirius could now acknowledge that his brother had just also had goodness in his nature, that he had just always been so easy to love because that was just how he was. Sirius was not good. Not like Regulus had inherently been.

It was a bitter potion to swallow. A self-realization deeper than anything he thought possible. The realization that he had been a terrible brother, a terrible son, a terrible schoolmate. His family had not been perfect. While they loved him dearly, their love turned to cruelty in many aspects. When they became afraid for him, their love ended up hurting him.

Sirius wasn't sure if he was any better than them though. His brother, his baby brother who died before reaching his twentieth birthday, had once been his entire world. Sirius loved him from the moment he first saw his mother's stomach grow. They followed each other everywhere, until jealously and resentment grew. Over what though? Neither really cared about being heir—they didn't dread it, but there was no true jealousy over who got the title. They had both been loved to pieces and spoiled beyond anything when they were young. And neither had been treated better or worse because of their ages.

But it had been about the heirship, about love and spoils, about age.

There lived an ugly thing in Sirius. An ugly, jealous, arrogant, thing. And for all that Sirius had loved his brother, truly and with everything in him, how easily he gave him up. When Regulus refused to follow Sirius in his rebellion, when he was sorted in to Slytherin, when he no longer defended Sirius's disrespect towards his family and peers, Sirius stopped holding him in his heart.

His family was reunited, but the shadow left by his brother was a cold reminder of his mistakes—of his parents mistakes too.

He had been arrogant. A trait he had been born with, a trait that had been nurtured by his family, and by himself. How much had that arrogance cost him?

It was jarring. To see all his faults and imperfections so clearly laid out to bare. His parents were right, and wrong. But so was he.

And ruminating over the past scores—over who did what first and why—it wasn't worth it.

Holding his son in his arms, feeling the small puffs of air against his neck, focusing on the weight of world housed in such a small, fragile body, that was worth more than anything.

He would try to move forward. Sirius had to believe that just as he could change so much in such a short time, so too could his parents.

Things weren't perfect. Not yet. And probably not ever, knowing the Black family temper. But they would get better.

Sirius was grounded again. His son was safe in his arms, the family magic was stronger and more settled than ever, and the future did not look so murky anymore.

He would be okay.

**A/N 2: I hope you enjoyed this chapter (or if you didn't, feel free to leave constructive criticism!). I did want to have more Harry/Sirius interaction but it just wasn't fitting in the way I needed it to. More to come though in the next chapter! (I can't promise exactly when that will be...but I can promise that it will be before the end of the month.)**

**There is still a lot of world building I would like to do, but it will be added more and more as we move past the set-up of the story.**

**A few notes on my version so far:**

**While things were far from perfect with Orion and Walburga, in my AU they never seriously cursed (imagine a light stinging hex or soap-in-mouth spell) their sons, and never physically hurt them. I envision them more as being neglectful or verbally abusive. I recognize that verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, but in this case, I think that having distance (physical, mental, and emotional) can make it easier for Sirius to move forward. I think often times, we expect parents to always have the right answers for how to deal with children who don't follow their expectations or rules, or we just expect them to not have flaws like humans. Walburga and Orion most definitely fucked up. They said some terrible things, and were not good parents to Sirius throughout a long period of his life...I don't think this means that forgiveness or growth is impossible. It takes a lot to reconcile these vicious moments with the all the sweet moments, but sometimes it can be achieved. It won't be easy though and I hope to show that struggle. Keep in mind that (this) Sirius wasn't perfect either. He was often not a good son, who acted out beyond normal rebellion. He aimed to hurt just as much as he was hurt, if not more. He's an adult-young-but still an adult. And that changes your relationship with your parents. He also is coming to terms with his own flaws, and taking another look at his past with new, more objective, eyes.**

**On prejudice, I hope to explain more of the differences in attitudes towards creatures/muggles/muggleborns/etc. that my characters have from JK Rowling's original characters. One example is that dark creatures are not viewed negatively by the Black family (or old pureblood families). So stay tuned for more!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Oops, it's been a while...

First and foremost, I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. Social distancing is difficult, but we all have to do our best to protect those at higher risk. I've been inspired lately by the onslaught of creativity not only on this platform, but also on so many others. I've been enjoying all the music collaborations, written prose and poetry, artwork, (of course) fan fiction, and more that have come out of these strange and difficult times.

Let's get through this together!

I do apologize for the wait for this chapter. I've had it sitting incomplete for a while, but just couldn't find the inspiration to finish it. In the meantime, my writing has become a bit rusty. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it.

**Chapter 5**

The days seemed to pass by all too slowly, and yet not slow enough. Having Harry back with him was…incredible. His bright little boy settling in quickly and easily, and taking to tottering after Kreacher or playing in his and Regulus' old nursery. Meanwhile, Sirius was just surrounded by ghosts. Sometimes he felt like he could see shadows in the shapes of Regulus, Lily, and James. Sometimes he'd talk to them, scream at them, beg them to forgive him. Sometimes he'd just sit there quietly, straining his sense and magic, desperately hoping that they were actual ghosts and not just figments created by his broken mind.

Things were not perfect but they were relatively okay, he supposed. His family was doing a delicate dance around each other. Somehow managing to both talk incessantly and not at all about the past. His grandfather was always a formidable flurry of robes coming and going from the house as he consulted with their family's attorneys and Ms. Crofton. It was a relief to not have to be the one in charge of it all. Everyday he'd sit his father and grandfather in the study of the Paterfamilias and get a rundown of what happened that day, and what was to come the next. In those moments, with firewhisky a comforting burn at the back of throat and the rumbling voices of his family washing over him, he felt the closest to home.

Rumors were running rampant about Sirius and Harry and Dumbledore.

The Daily Prophet had written an article (pre-approved by his Paterfamilias, of course) that went in depth about his near-incarceration. Because of the outcry of the public there was a rush to extensively review both old and new Death Eater cases. If a scion of an ancient and noble house had almost been so easily and carelessly tossed in to Azkaban, then how was the Ministry treating other accused or suspected Death Eaters? A schedule of retrials was to come in the next week. Sirius hadn't left the house since his outing to the Ministry several weeks earlier. His family, and attorneys, decided that for now it was best to lie low and let the speculating masses do the work for them. Harry also needed him. While he was doing much better being away from Sirius, the child still needed Sirius to be in the house with him so he could feel his bondfather's magic. With both parents abruptly and traumatically taken from Harry, the toddler's family bonds were an open wound—too raw and frayed to be left uncovered by Sirius's magic. It would have been even better if Remus had been there as well to sooth the bonds, but that was an open wound for Sirius that he was doing his best to ignore.

Sirius was impatient for change, for retribution against Dumbledore, the Ministry, the world. But his family had done their level best at restraining his Gryffindor tendencies to "demolish first, think second". He knew this had to be done carefully. With several powerful people and entities in the mix, and their own mixed reputation shadowing things, the Black family had to dance a delicate dance.

Thus far, he was satisfied at least that Harry was irrevocably his, and that the muggles would definitely be paying (maybe even with soul). They were currently under house arrest, with magical tracking making sure they couldn't run and hide from the Ministry (Ms. Crofton). Sirius had taken great pleasure in personally ensuring that all of Surrey and Vernon's company knew just exactly why the Dursley's had been apprehended in the first place.

Ms. Crofton, the delightful woman, was making regular visits to Surrey and questioning the muggle neighbors if they had noticed anything strange about the Dursley's, specifically regarding the _children_ in their care. One day she had come with a team of Auror's disguised as muggle police officers so she could loudly remove the Dursley's son, Dudley, to place him in foster care with the nice squib family. They were getting very faint readings of magic from the child, so they wanted to be able to monitor him just in case he presented as a muggleborn alter on. Vernon's failed attempts to punch her right on the front lawn, in front of the gawking neighbors was a nice touch in further damaging their already ruined reputation.

The DMCW was also opening an investigation into the placement of other war orphans spanning from the start the Global Wizarding War with Grindelwald to present day. In not so many words, they were seeing if Dumbledore had been involved with any other cases. So far, they had not found much—except for a case involving orphaned Tom Riddle whom Dumbledore had apparently given his Hogwarts letter to—but seeing as the man had come to his height of power after the war, they were expecting to see more cases pop up later on.

His father and grandfather had been sitting in on the Wizengamot sessions, trying to get a read on how people were feeling about the retrials. It seemed that most were for them, even the light wizards, as they wanted to see justice for all sides. Lord Black had been able to get an approval for veritaserum to be used with every retrial; and helped propose a set of questions that could be used as a general guideline for questioning. Of course, some case-specific questions would have to be developed for each trial, but some preliminary questions could help eliminate the extra step.

Things with his mother were tense. But they both excelled in aggressively ignoring a problem until it went away, so their unspoken agreement for now, was to let sleeping dogs lie and focus on the bigger issues at play. His mother had been in charge of the non-political politicking. She had her luncheons and teas and parties with the wives and husbands of the Wizengamot members where she was able to do her sneaky manipulations and information gathering that Sirius couldn't even wrap his head around. When she wasn't off doing…that…she was at home, nagging at him to do this or that or to NOT do this or that, playing with Harry, or bossing around Kreacher, her husband and her patriarch. (Behold the power of a lady of House Black). Her other side project was to reunite the fractured and distant family. Sirius had been doing his best to hide from her and her machinations; but unfortunately, she was just as good at finding him now as she was when he was a child.

* * *

"Sirius."

"No."

"ˆ_Sirius_."

"_No."_

"He's your favorite cousin's husband." Walburga tried.

"He's a pompous peacock who always tortured me in school." Sirius rebutted.

"You kept spelling his hair red and gold, and he was Head Boy." Walburga tried to keep her voice even. It was easier when she imagined her son as the small boy he used to be (and was acting like), rather than the entire grown wizard he was.

"He didn't have to take so many points or give me so many detentions!"

"And you didn't have to pull so many pranks or be such a brat. Yet, here we are."

Sirius's jaw dropped. "Lies and slander!"

Shaking her head at her ridiculous child, Walburga allowed some of her amusement to slip through her voice, "You may have been in a different house than I wished, but that doesn't mean I didn't keep up with all your Head of House's reports. Do you really think Minerva wasn't telling me every little thing you got up to?"

The man-child before her looked beyond scandalized at the news. While by that time things had been quite tense (understatement) between Sirius and his parents, they still tried their best to quietly look out for him and support him. They were in frequent contact with Minerva throughout his school years. For Sirius though, it was a shock. He had always assumed that when he was sorted in to Gryffindor and received a letter from his parents expressing their disappointment, that that was that. He thought that they had just wiped their hands of him and weren't interested in anything to do with his schooling.

It was another one of those perspective-changing revelations.

"Well…" Sirius tried to dispel the growing tension. "I still don't like him!"

"You mean you don't like that he's married to your favorite cousin."

This started a rant about how Narcissa was infinitely better than "icky old Malfoy" and why she should have never married him—despite their marriage being one of an almost sickening amount of love.

"He's just coming for tea. And I think it would be good for Harry to start socializing with children his own age. Their little boy Draco is only about a month older, you know."

Sirius knew that those were the fatal words. Harry did need more socialization, and of course he could never fault Draco for being his father's son. And the truth was, Lucius had really never been that bad to him. Strict, to be sure. But he had been to everyone as Head Boy.

"Fine. Lunch and a play date. But that's it!"

"Just play nicely then, Sirius." Walburga teased.

**A/N:** So how was it? Thoughts? Constructive criticism? What would you like to see next (no promises, but maybe...)?

As always, I appreciate all the reviews, follows, favorites, etc. And thank you to those read without an account or are just silent readers!

Am I forgetting anything else? Forgive the minor rambling...social distancing is clearly getting to me!

Stay safe and healthy!


	6. Interlude, RAB

**A/N 1: Okay so I tried writing Chapter 6 and then this happened...So Chapter 6 is still to come (I'm trying to make it much longer than any of my other chapters). Honestly, just blame Lucius for my inability to write it. Anyway, hope you enjoy this angsty little piece in the meantime. **

**Thank you to everyone who comments, favorites, follows, etc. (and thank you to my silent readers as well!)**

**Stay safe and healthy!**

**Also, sorry if you kept seeing this pop up as updated, when it was not in fact updated. I'm terrible with technology and uploading this took more time and tries than it really should have... oops.**

**Interlude—Regulus**

When Sirius and Regulus were young children, they created a secret spot. In a dusty corner of the library, with several old books on fiction which were never read, they would stash all sorts of things for each other. At first it was just drawings or small trinkets. Sirius would leave a picture of a dog he had drawn for Regulus, then, after a few hours he'd creep back to their spot and find that Regulus had left a picture of a flower for him in its place. Once, Regulus had proudly left a little gold button he had managed to find before Kreacher threw it away. Then, somewhere along the line, the brothers had turned it into a game, where you weren't supposed to get caught putting a new picture or object in the spot by the other. It was tricky considering the fact that the boys spent almost every waking (and sometimes sleeping) moment together.

The game changed from pictures to messages when Sirius was due to start his tutoring. The night before his first full day of lessons, a teary Regulus snuck into his room.

"We won't be together anymore!" he had cried, burying his face in his older brother's chest.

"Shh…It'll be okay Reggie! It will only be for a few hours and then we can play lots afterwards." Sirius tried his best to soothe him.

"No it won't be okay! You'll be doing so much without me. And what am I supposed to do without you?" Regulus was nearly shaking apart, so distressed at the thought of missing any part of his brother's life.

After telling his brother that this was just life, and that they'd have to be apart eventually did not work—in fact, it just left Regulus wailing even louder. Sirius was hard pressed to come up with a way, any way, to make things better. He suddenly had the idea to use their spot to leave messages for each other.

"You can tell me about moments I missed with you!" he excitedly whispered. "From now on, we can tell each other things that happened when the other was gone!"

"I ate mama's scone when she wasn't looking." Regulus once wrote.

"Today, I saw Kreacher trip over the carpet and he got so mad that he shook his fist at it." was the message an eight year old Sirius had left with a giggle.

Eventually, as they both grew older and time together was much less than time apart, and tensions between Sirius and his parents grew, the messages also became an easier way for them to talk.

"I'm sorry I blamed you after I broke father's picture frame." —Regulus

"You're not an annoying pipsqueak, and I shouldn't have yelled at you." —Sirius

—

Sirius couldn't stop his bitter smile as he stared at their old spot. He had been searching for some old children's books in the library, and was caught in an uncomfortable onslaught of memories at the sight of the fiction section. The area had a good layer of dust, indicating that aside from Kreacher filing away children's books, no one else had been there in quite some time.

He and Regulus hadn't passed messages here since Sirius left for Hogwarts his first year. Too much tension had built up after his sorting, the once happy home filled with thick tension. Their relationship had been irrevocably soured. Mostly, Sirius was able to reflect, because of his own growing had become defensiveness and bitterness towards anything under the umbrella of "family". Regulus had tried his best to reach out to Sirius, until his parents and Sirius's own rejection convinced him it was a lost cause.

The summer after his first year, Sirius had come home angry and hurt by his parents rejection of his house. He had done his level best to give them as much trouble as possible. Yelling and throwing things and being generally obstinate in his defiance. Without even seeing his younger brother, he had immediately felt resentment build. All that hidden anger at "perfect Regulus" which had been held at bay when they were younger, was suddenly free to explode anytime and anywhere. Where he had once been a proud older brother to the most obedient and good and loving little brother, he became a spiteful bully angered at every attempt Regulus made to placate and comfort him.

He lashed out at everyone, both his parents, his grandfather only once before he refused to come by again, his brother.

A yellowed corner of parchment stuck out from their spot. Sirius couldn't remember if he or his brother had been the last to leave something there, but that was quickly answered by the stack of folded parchment.

His brother had apparently left him letters. Even knowing that Sirius had would likely never look for them again.

Sirius's hands shook as he went to open the letter at the bottom of the stack. He knew that whatever was written inside, whether it was loving forgiveness, or anger and hurt, it would be devastating to read.

Each letter was smeared with ink spots, and it was clear from the many blurred words that his brother had been crying while writing.

—

Dear Sirius,

Since you left for Hogwarts I have found that while I love you, sometimes I really, really hate you.

In case you actually come to read this, I'll let you know that our parents just found out you ran away.

It's chaos.

I think you would be well pleased about how much you have destroyed in your leaving. Father has thrown all but one whiskey bottle at the parlor's wall. He's halfway through downing the remaining one. Mother has been switching back and forth between screaming hysterically and angrily, and silently weeping.

Grandfather is trying to track you, but it's clear you are behind some quite strong wards. I hope to Merlin and Morgana that you are safe, if only so I can strangle you myself.

'I hate you all. Rot in hell you sorry excuse for a family. Don't try to find me.' Is all you left in your note.

I don't think I have ever seen your handwriting so neat. You must have taken a lot of care in writing that hateful message.

—

—

Dear Sirius,

I couldn't even finish the last letter. It is now Yule break—the first Yule without you here.

You seem well. Are the Potter's everything you wanted? I wonder, have they seen your anger yet? Your vicious temper and ungratefulness? Or are you showing them a different side of you?

You haven't even looked at me since that evening before you left. Do you remember how I stood in front of you on the train and you looked anywhere but at me? How you turned your back and called Potter your 'brother'?

I have found that I hate you much more frequently now.

I hate you even more since I've arrived home. I hate you when I see father looking at your favorite chair in his study, and his face fills with pain when he remembers you aren't there. I hate you when mother sits alone in the library an empty teacup next to her full one, as if she's still waiting you to come down for your daily tea together.

I hate you when I remember that I have to stop in Diagon Alley to get more ink and quills, since your Gryffindor 'brothers' destroyed most of mine while you stood and watched.

I hate you when father traps me in his study for heirship lessons. I hate you when mother praises me for being the 'perfect heir'. As if that is my only worth.

They brag about me to their friends now. Even more than they used to about us both. I feel a part of myself die every time they do. The pressure I am forced under suffocating me just a bit more each time.

'Unlike your brother…'

I am no longer allowed to be anything but what you were before, and what you no longer are.

Our parents, both a bit too much in the fire whisky, told me that your Yule gift to me was the heirship. I think they're still hoping for your return.

Either way, fuck you.

R.A.B.

—

—

Dear Sirius,

I'm drowning. I'm drowning and no one cares because they're all worried about you. Holding their breath to see what will happen once you become of age. Meanwhile, my lungs are filling with water.

You and your heroic Gryffindor friends like to sneer and accuse us Slytherins of being Death Eaters. Do you ever wonder about me? About how I'm doing surrounded by them?

The noose is tightening around my neck, and sooner or later, I think I'll be forced to pledge.

I've tried my best, but I'm not officially the heir yet, I'm the spare. I'm the spare without anyone willing to save me.

Snape, Lestrange, Rosier…they aren't my friends as you like to sneer at me. They're trying to lead me to my death. So, I need you to remember that you have a brother. A real, flesh and blood and magic, brother. When they pressure and threaten, I want to feel like I have someone at my back again, instead of just the wall. Have my back.

You left, but don't you care about me at all still?

I need our parents to see me without having your shadow cast over me. All they care about is that I'm not rebelling like you, that I'm not going to run away. Other than that, they don't see me. They're too busy monitoring you. They talk about what to do with you, where they went wrong, what they should do, what they can't do, how to get you back….

'Perfect'. I hate that word almost as much as I hate you now. I can't being anything but 'perfect' now. I'm drowning in that expectation.

Sometimes I wonder if giving in to those junior Death Eaters will be enough of a demonstration of my imperfection to shock you all into giving a damn about me again. If Mother and Father will start to pay more attention to me, if you start to see how much I need my big brother again.

R.A.B.

—

—

Dear Sirius,

I did something stupid, but I had no choice. I think I'm going to die soon.

I love you, brother.

R.A.B.

—

**A/N 2:**

**First note, formatting was being an absolute bitch, so some of the spacing is off in the letters (I like dramatic line breaks, okay?). Just imagine more dramatic spacing, please and thank you.**

**Second note, in this interlude, I wanted to add some more backstory to Sirius and Regulus and their relationship. **

**(Feel free to skip this next bit of me rambling about character development...I don't think there are spoilers? But in case you're absolutely against any type of spoiler...here's a warning?)**

**An important point I want to make with my story is that family is complicated...we all know this. Our families are unique, and relationships complicated. We can love our relatives but hate them at the same time. We can hurt them more than help them, by accident or on purpose. **

**Sirius is fundamentally human. I don't think he's a bad person, and he's certainly gone through quite a lot, but he really isn't the "white sheep" he's often portrayed as (at least not in my fic). He's petty, and vicious, and has a terrible temper and habit of lashing out at those around him. And yes, he was definitely manipulated by both his family and Dumbledore in to acting this way or that. At his base, though, his character, is not so different from his family members' characters-and their characters aren't all good or all bad.**

**On the other hand, Regulus, I find that his character (or potential character, given that JK Rowling doesn't tell us much about him) resonates a lot with me on a personal level. The pressure of being the "good" child, especially when you have a sibling that was identified as "bad" can be insanely toxic. Neither child is truly good or bad, but that polarization that is forced on them both makes for a very twisted development. We see how Sirius acts against his label by actually adhering to it (doing his best to fit the bill of "bad" as defined by his family); but Regulus is a different story. **

**I hope that throughout the rest of this (slow coming) story you'll see more of his complexities and how he reacts to his family.**


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**A/N 1: Hello all! new update!**

**Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who reads this! I can't tell you how much it means to mean that people actually like this...**

**so with that said, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

—-

Harry looked at Draco, then at Sirius and Lucius who were still locked in their staring contest, then at Narcissa who smiled warmly in return, before looking at Draco again. He pointed to his castle and dragon toy set, and said "Dagon". Draco nodded and pointed to himself before letting out a mighty roar. That settled, the boys waddled over to the toys.

"Merlin and Morgana, Sirius will you relax?" Walburga bustled (elegantly) into the family room, taking care to whap Sirius on the back on his head with one of the picture books she had brought for the boys. "They have barely stepped out of the floo and you're like a rabid guard dog."

For that comment, Sirius made sue to show extra teeth as he smiled at Lucius. "Lucy."

With a much brighter, albeit tentative smile he moved towards his cousin. "Cissa! I've missed you."

His fair cousin sniffed, looking down her nose at him. "Perhaps you should have taken greater care in owling me then, Sirius."

Okay, he deserved that. Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly all he could offer was meek but sincere, "Sorry. I love you!"

Rolling her eyes, Narcissa moved to hug him. He apparently hadn't changed much from his five year old self, and she apparently hadn't changed much from her nine year old self either. She was still entirely too lenient with him.

Lucius not quite managing to hide his irritation at the nickname, gave a polite nod, and moved to sit next to Walburga. The two watched watched little Harry and Draco happily babble to each other as they played. At one point Draco, flying his green welsh figurine a little too enthusiastically, ran right over Harry who responded by flopping over the blonde and rolling around like a puppy. This encouraged Draco to drop his toy and do the same, so all you could see was flashes of blonde and black hair and pudgy little limbs flying around.

"Draco, no licking, remember?" Lucius had to remind his errant son with an exasperated look. Draco, who had been in the middle of licking and attempting to chomp on Harry's arm, looked extremely put out. Harry didn't seem to mind either way, he was just collapsed in a mess of giggles.

"My son has just entered the 'I licked it so it's mine' phase of his life. My father tells me this will last for quite a few years based on how my brother and I were." Lucius explains to Walburga.

Highly amused, she offers a "I'm honestly not sure if Sirius has outgrown his phase yet. Just yesterday he and his father got in an argument over the last scone. Sirius's solution was to pick it up, lick it, and then offer it to his father as if he might still want it."

"I suppose some things really don't change."

"No, I suppose they don't. But there are worse traits to have remain constant." Walburga's tone was light, but her eyes shadowed. The weighted statement hung between them before she shook herself off and inquired after how Lucius was settling into his new position as Lord of House Malfoy.

—

While Lucius and Walburga watched over the children, Sirius and Narcissa had moved further away to sit on the settee by the window.

The cousins had a lot to talk about. Too much, for the first meeting in years. Too much, for a playdate between their boys. But they had to start somewhere.

"I am sorry." Sirius stated softly.

Narcissa looked at him, searched his face intently.

She had been the youngest of her sisters, and the gentlest. As such she had been coddled and babied quite a lot growing up. It had been lovely, but Narcissa was a nurturer. Even as a little girl, all she wanted to do was play with her babydolls and take care of them. Bellatrix had a strong dislike for children who were not her sisters; and Andromeda was just awkward, and more interested in other non-awkward inducing things. So, when Narcissa was four and her Aunt Walburga announced she was pregnant with her first child, it had felt like the best thing in the world.

Narcissa had insisted on going over to her Aunt and Uncles house several times a week. She would sit by her Aunt's side, with a hand or ear pressed to her older woman's growing stomach. It was Narcissa, not even Orion, who had been with Walburga and felt Sirius's first kick.

Her Aunt had been amused by her obsession and endlessly patient with the determined girl. Together, they practiced how to change a diaper, picked out toys and room decorations and clothes. Walburga would sit with Narcissa in the library and read aloud to her from the journals left by previous women in the Black family, detailing their experiences with motherhood.

When Sirius had been born, Narcissa was the fifth person to hold him (she had unfortunately had to wait for Walburga, Orion, Grandfather Arcturus, and Grandmother Melania). Sirius had been a loud baby. Enthusiastically announcing his arrival with great wails and flailing limbs. He cried and squirmed when held by both parents and grandparents, but when he was finally in his cousins arms, he quieted down, body still and content when she re-swaddled him in his soft green blanket—the blanket that she had meticulously picked out.

Sirius had been more of a little brother to Narcissa than a cousin. Her visits to Grimmauld Place only increased once he was born. Walburga and Orion allowed it, encouraged it even, because their energetic son always seemed so much more settled with her near; and the bright girl was always a breath of fresh air. Her parents, Cygnus and Druella, allowed it because it was 'good practice' for the young girl, and would only 'increase her appeal' to marriage suitors down the line.

When Sirius was two and Narcissa six, Regulus came in to the world. Sirius had been terribly jealous at first, not understanding why his favorite people were no longer giving him all of the attention all of the time. He resented this annoying, little, squirmy monster who seemed to be replacing him. And, given his limited speech and emotional understanding, was only able to express himself through epic tantrums. The first time he saw Narcissa holding a sleeping Regulus, he broke down in angry tears, shrieking at the top of his lungs without even noticing that his startled brother had joined in. He had been inconsolable, and so so angry at Narcissa. When she tried to comfort him, relinquishing a squalling Regulus to Orion, he pushed her away. It was the first time he had ever done that—he hadn't even when she would tickle him to pieces. But to his young mind, she had betrayed him for the "replacement".

Over time, he learned to love his brother. Learned to share the affection of his parents and his cousin. Regulus went from his "replacement" to his baby duckling following him around everywhere much like Sirius did to Narcissa.

As they grew older though, Narcissa stopped being able to come around as often. Her parents decided that etiquette lessons and tutoring were much more important, and there was growing worry over Andromeda and Bellatrix's rebellious and unladylike natures. Then Sirius was put forced to take his heirship/etiquette/traditions/magical theory/etc. lessons, then Walburga and Orion started to isolate Sirius in an attempt to stop his fascination with Dumbledore, then he was sorted in to Gryffindor and hated everyone.

In the years following Sirius's sorting and falling out with his family, Narcissa would lie awake at night. She was tormented by the thought that she had failed her cousin. That she had been a part of his feelings of alienation and abandonment. For the three years they were in Hogwarts together, she did her best to look out for him. She tried to discreetly check-in with him, and when rejected, tried to then watch over and protect him from afar. Unfortunately, house politics were too strong, which limited her ability to safely and openly interact with him. He hadn't understood the danger that could arise for her to be seen talking to a Gryffindor, and for him to be seen talking to a Slytherin. Family or not.

Thankfully, Lucius, as prefect and then as Head Boy, had been able to keep a better eye on the wild child. Her lovely fiancé, under the guise of officious rule enforcement, monitored Sirius and his prankster friends. He was able to step in when pranks or fights began to look to risky, and was always able to report to her when Sirius seemed okay, and when he seemed to be on the knife's edge again.

Narcissa regretted a lot when it came to Sirius. She regretted that she hadn't helped—hadn't been able to help him more. There was a part of her that was also deeply hurt and angry that he never tried to come to her. It felt as if she had been immediately labeled as "the enemy", and on some level, she just couldn't move past her own feelings and understand why that was.

But here he was in front of her, a young man now with dark shadows in empty eyes and grief carved on his face like scars, asking forgiveness for leaving her.

She cupped his face in her hands, pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead, eyes closing as he started to tremble.

"It'll be alright Sirius." was all she could offer. She knew she would forgive him, sooner rather than later, but….but she needed time. Time to process, time to understand. Even still, she wrapped his larger frame up in her arms.

Sirius understood though. For now, things would be okay. They were starting to mend.

He sank more into her arms, familiar perfume wafting over him, and their magic quietly entwining. Narcissa was safe. Another level of home he had found again.

—

"So, how are you and Harry settling in?" Narcissa had already been briefed on Harry's situation. She may or may not have set fire to a few things when she found out about how the muggles had treated him.

Sirius sipped at his tea while gathering his thoughts. It was a good question. One he somehow managed to never answer himself, too distracted by the effort it took to even just wake up and get out of bed.

"Harry loves it here, I think."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I mean, he's got plenty of toys; Kreacher spoils him with ALL of the treats, healthy of course, since apparently his 'young master' still needs to heal from those 'filthy muggles'; Dad carries him on his shoulders everywhere throughout the house and lets him draw while he works at his desk (there are many pictures); and mum just dotes on him to the point its sickening (not really)." They share a good laugh over this.

"And, the family magic helps. The DMCW healers, they specialize in broken bonds in children among other things, but they said that his have healed really well given how little time it's been. They told me that—" his voice broke, ''They told me that had he stayed with the muggles, his mental state would have likely deteriorated far beyond fixing by the time he would have arrived at Hogwarts. The pain from the empty and broken bonds may have even killed him. His magic would have lashed out at him without any other bonds to stabilize it. Especially after he was born into and grew up in a house with his parents, and then the constant contact he had with me."

"I've heard it's rare that children come out of such a trauma unscathed, if they don't have other bonds to support them. I'm glad he's doing well." Narcissa laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"At first, they weren't sure if he would connect with the family magic. But, since I'm his bondfather, and his par—his parents are gone, his magic is a bit more open. It helps that the family magic has excepted him as a child of House Black."

Narcissa hummed thoughtfully at that. It was a good thing. If the Black Family Magic had rejected Harry, it would have made things exceedingly difficult for him and Sirius; especially as Sirius's own magic was becoming more heavily infused by it once again.

Family magic was an interesting and tricky thing. It was something deeply personal to each Ancient house, as it was something along the lines of a sentient being. Each house, who had at least 25 or so generations of witches and wizards, generally had family magic that became specialized and sentient. It ruled the family: their laws, and codes, marriages, careers, and more were all anchored by their family magic. As much as it protected the members of the house, it could also react against a member it felt was harmful to the family or another member. Because of this, adoption was often tricky. Family Magic was generally kinder to the young especially since children's magic was a bit more malleable, but there was still the potential that it would reject those it found unworthy of or incompatible with the House—which could be much more emotionally and magically damaging if there was no other option for the child but to remain.

"How are you, Cissa?" Narcissa pretended that she hadn't noticed he hadn't answered about himself.

"I'm worried. The DMLE is convinced that Lucius is a death eater. So many of his friends turned out to be. But Grandfather put into our marriage contract that he couldn't pledge himself to someone or some cause without a full discussion and agreement from me and my head of house both. I've made it very clear that I wouldn't allow him to become a death eater, even in Hogwarts, and even if I had agreed, there's no way that Grandfather would have allowed it. You know our house laws. The only house we can pledge ourselves to is one we marry in to and the one we are born in to.

There has still been frequent investigation. Lucius is scared to take Draco anywhere by himself, too worried that aurors will try to arrest him. And you know these arrests of suspected death eaters have not been by the books by any means. I suppose things are a bit better now after what happened to you, but we're both still so worried that something will happen."

Narcissa took in a deep breath. She hadn't realized how worked up she had become over this.

"I'm sorry that you're going through this." Sirius replied softly. He may not like Lucius (mostly because of his childhood grudge and protectiveness for Narcissa), but he knew that he was a good man—and if nothing else, that he was a proud man who only bowed to his father. "Is there anything I can do to help? You could all spend more time here, if you feel unsafe even at the Manor."

"Thank you, Siri. We might take you up on that, if it's alright with Aunt and Uncle." They both knew it would be. She looked over to where Harry and Draco were now piled on top of each other in Lucius's lap, listening intently to a story that Walburga was reading aloud. "It looks like we'll be hard pressed to separate our kids after this anyway."

Sirius looked over as well and barked out a laugh. He was filled with warmth at the sight. His Harry needed more family, a cousin his own age would be great for him. He pushed down the grief he felt for his own late brothers, Regulus and James.

"Sirius…" Narcissa started, then stopped. She looked worried, the warmth and joy brought by their children fading from her face. "I'm even more worried about Bellatrix."

Sirius sucked in a sharp breath. Bellatrix's name had almost become a taboo in their house. Growing up, she had always been strong-willed and wild. She hated conforming to the beliefs her parents had had about "proper ladylike behavior", and was always loud in her conviction that she would be like Aunt Cassiopeia and never get married.

Sirius hadn't known much, at the time he had been too angry at his parents, and distanced himself from the family as a whole. He had just known that suddenly, his independent cousin was married to Rodolphus Lestrange, and seemed to be completely unhinged.

Narcissa started to fill him in on the details of what happened.

Bellatrix had never wanted to marry—that was a constant. However, the eldest of the three sisters, Andromeda, had broken her betrothal contract to Rodolphus Lestrange and run off with a muggleborn. The contract was still binding to a daughter of House Black, so either Narcissa or Bellatrix would have been forced to fulfill it. Narcissa and Lucius had loved each other, and to separate them would have been immeasurably cruel, but…but Narcissa had also been too selfless when it came to here sisters, and she would never want Bellatrix to be forced to marry when she had never wanted a husband in the first place.

Similarly, Bellatrix had always been rather wild, and quite in love with herself; but her love for her sisters, Narcissa especially, went above and beyond. Before Narcissa knew it, Bellatrix was married to Rodolphus and clearly trying to hide just how miserable she was.

Their Paterfamilias had been furious. As the head of house, any betrothal or marriage contracts had to go through Arcturus first. Cygnus, the girls' father, had not done so. As such, there was no clause about pledging fealty to others, and the contract was skewed very much in the Lestrange's favor. Every bit of Bellatrix's independence was shredded.

Sirius went pale at the implications.

In school, Lestrange had always been one of the crueler Slytherins. He tortured everyone from every house and took great pleasure in it. He had also been a very vocal wannabe Death Eater. After he was marked, he aggressively recruited as many Slytherin lower years as possible, threatening them until they gave in and joined the cause. He had also been disgustingly aggressive even to witches; with strange ideas about witches being subservient to wizards. It was appalling, and the witches who came from Matriarchal families (like Amelia Bones) had always been quick to hex and curse him.

House Black—with the apparent except of Cygnus, thanks to Druella's influence—raised strong witches just as they raised strong wizards, because the house was neither patriarchal or matriarchal. The heir was usually the eldest child from the main branch of the family; although on occasion the Family Magic stepped in and appointed someone else when it came time for the heir to take over the Lordship.

For Bellatrix to suddenly be trapped in a marriage with one of the most misogynistic wizards Sirius had ever met…His poor cousin must be tortured by all of this. And If it was true that her marriage contract to Lestrange was fully binding, then he would have complete control over her every action.

"Grandfather is trying to get Bellatrix out of the contract." Narcissa gave a bitter smile. "It's difficult though. The contract Father agreed to has few loopholes in our favor. The only clause we found that stipulates contract termination states that the contract will be terminated immediately if Rodolphus physically or magically hurts a child of Black blood. We assume this was put in so he can't abuse any heirs they may have." Sirius felt sick at the thought.

Narcissa looked to Draco again who was now building something vaguely resembling a castle with Harry. "I feel like this is my fault."

"It isn't." Sirius was adamant.

"Narcissa, this isn't your fault. Bellatrix loves you so much. She knew how much you loved Lucius and how much you wanted to marry him. She chose this, knowing all of the risks. Don't forget how smart Bella is. How strong. We'll figure this out, we'll get her out of that marriage and I know when you see her, she'll tell you that she never blamed you for a second!"

As if sensing his wife's distress from across the room, Lucius hastened over. He knelt before Narcissa, taking her pale, shaking hands in his own.

"Darling, what's wrong?"

"She told me about Bellatrix." Sirius replied when she didn't.

It was fascinating to see this side of Lucius so close. He had always known that Lucius was in love with Narcissa, but seeing is believing.

The proud Malfoy Lord was kneeling in front of his wife, eyes soft and concerned. He held her hands so gently but firmly—knowing the exact strength needed to keep her together.

Perhaps he wasn't so bad after all.

"We'll get her out flower." Lucius' voice held quiet conviction. Sirius was sure, in that moment, that Lucius was doing everything in his power and more to try and save Bellatrix.

—

"DAGOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Harry screeched aggressively, arms raised towards the ceiling and waving just as aggressively as his voice.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRR!" was Draco's equally aggressive and enthusiastic response.

Their tiny faces were screwed up in pitiful visages of anger, chubby cheeks rosy and tiny eyebrows furrowed.

The two then proceeded to stomp around in a circle around the block castle they had built. Every so often one of them would let out another bellow, sometimes it even resembled an actual word. They both had a dragon figurine in each hand. The mini dragons' wings flapped around uselessly. The toys normally could fly on their own, but tiny, pudgy hands were restricting their movement.

The adults had converged together around a small table Kreacher set up with cakes and sandwiches. Narcissa and Walburga were switching between the latest society gossip and talking about the last issue of Potions Monthly. Sirius and Lucius had been awkward at first. Both because of the display of intimacy between Lucius and Narcissa, and because of Sirius and Lucius' own history (of Sirius being a complete brat, and Lucius being a complete hardass while surreptitiously stalking him for Narcissa's peace of mind).

The two men decided to just not have that discussion, and with a determined nod and silent handshake from both parties, it was all laid to rest. The two hands on fathers were now engrossed in watching and talking about their sons.

"—So Draco finally ate some of the mushed peas, but he didn't like them and now won't eat anything green! He liked carrots, but they're quite sugary you know, so I'd really like him to start eating another vegetable." Lucius was quite serious about this.

"Well Harry's never liked peas, but Kreacher made this pasta with broccoli and chicken that he really likes. The key was that they weren't chopped up too much. Harry likes chomping on 'mini trees'. He also really just loves the pasta sauce." Sirius replied equally serious.

"Oh, really? Do you think Kreacher give the recipe to Dobby? The poor elf is at his wits end has has been viciously punishing himself for not being able to feed Draco well."

"I don't know….I mean Kreacher is pretty territorial about his recipes, I remember when he nearly bit uncle Alphard's elf when she asked for his treacle tart recipe." Sirius took a bite of his roast chicken sandwich. "We can ask. Kreacher!"

Kreacher popped in grumpily. He was incredibly salty that he wasn't allowed to watch over the boys during tea. Walburga had been sure that eight sets of eyes had been plenty enough to watch over the two, and Kreacher hadn't been needed. The elf's eyes kept straying to the area where the boys were playing.

"Yes, master Sirius? You called Kreacher?" 'finally' was grumbled even more softly at the end.

Lucius and Sirius exchanged amused glances.

"Kreacher, I was telling Lucius about how only you were able to get Harry to finally eat broccoli." a little flattery never hurt anyone. "And Draco apparently won't eat any vegetables besides carrots."

Kreacher's ears perked up a bit at the implied compliment.

"Do you think you could give your pasta and broccoli recipe to Lucius's elf?"

The old elf's eyes narrowed.

"Please, Kreacher? Narcissa also told me how much she loved your cooking whenever she visited here. She wanted her son to be able to eat the same food." Lucius' tone was obnoxiously placating, but that, along with his mention of Narcissa, whom Kreacher adored like one of his own charges, did the trick.

"Fine fine. Kreacher gives recipe. Where is elf who can't even provide for his young master?"

Sirius blinked. Damn, savage Kreacher. Sirius hoped that the elf wouldn't actually say that to Dobby's face.

"He's at the manor. I'll talk to Orion and arrange a time when we can send him over to you."

The two men thanked the angry elf before he reluctantly popped out of the room.

"Okay, so does Draco ever just randomly throw things? Sometimes Harry will just stop in the middle of whatever he's doing and throw whatever is in his hand or the nearest object."

"He hasn't yet, but Cygnus Greengrass? His daughter Daphne is a few months younger than the boys and she apparently started to throw…."

The men continued on and on.

—

'It was the start to a beautiful friendship.' Narcissa and Walburga mused once they realized how engrossed Lucius and Sirius were in each other.

—

**A/N 2: I believe in canon, Bellatrix is the eldest and Andromeda the middle child. For this au, I have switched the other so now it's Andromeda, Bellatrix, Narcissa.**

**How did you like it? I managed a longer chapter than usual so I'm quite proud of myself!**

**We're starting to get a bit more world and family building now.**

**With that, there's some angst, but I hope Harry and Draco (and Kreacher! Our favorite grumpy elf) were able to lighten up things a bit.**

**I have PLANS for the next chapter. Big Plans (TM). The next chapter should be out in a week or two (I promise not longer than that! I wrote it down in my calendar so it must be true!)**

**Stay safe and healthy!**


	8. Chapter 7

_A/N: I am so sorry for the very much not-on-time update. I go more into detail for why the delay at the end. But just know that I apologize profusely and am very happy that you are still reading this. It's not as long as I had wanted/promised, but nonetheless I hope that you enjoy._

* * *

Sirius had to hand it to his mother, she was an excellent schemer. He loathed to admit that he had greatly enjoyed his reunion with the Malfoys, but it was quite true. Narcissa was lovely as ever. While they still had much to work through, he knew everything would be okay with his gentle and forgiving cousin. Draco and Harry seemed completely attached at the hip already. They were only able to separate the children once they had fallen asleep in a heap after another loud and busy game of Dragon and Castle. The shadowy, broken part of Sirius saw a mini-Sirius and mini-James in the making.

He did his best to add those thoughts to the monstrous heap of fractured-hurt-sharp-dangerous in his mind. Harry was Harry, Draco was Draco, and James was dead.

He and Lucius, far removed from their petty child-/teen-hood and with Lucius' clear worship of Narcissa, were able to bond quite spectacularly over their children. Sirius' newfound maturity made him appreciate Lucius' quiet reserve. Where he once saw cold aloofness and conceit, he could now see an admirable self-control and self-confidence. Around his family, and indeed, House Black had become his family once he bonded with one of its daughters, his mask broke and he was honestly…quite goofy? In many ways, Lucius resembled Remus: quiet and bookish, but with a silly streak that would come out now and then. The painful difference, however, was that Lucius had much more resolve—he was without a doubt a leader, not a follower. Sirius was also ashamed to admit that it was nice to speak to someone who just "got it". Lucius understood the pressures of being Heir, he understood the importance of family traditions, and the importance of following Lady Magic's ancient rules and the Old Ways. The Potters had been an Ancient and Noble House, but they had been marked blood traitors for a reason. While James had distantly known of the Old Ways, he never practiced them, and had Sirius had always felt like he had to hide that very central part of himself. Remus too, for all of his research, was never fully understanding or accepting of Sirius keeping up with magical tradition. There had been countless accusations that Sirius was really "dark" because he wouldn't give up those practices and because he still followed Lady Magic's doctrine. For Sirius, Samhain and Yule were never replaced by Halloween and Christmas as they were for James and Remus (and that lying little traitor).

It was another piece of him that seemed to heal and shatter all at once. His love for James was infinite, but James was also not perfect and that was getting harder and harder to ignore.

Narcissa had brought up something worrying: Bellatrix. His wild cousin's name was rarely spoken anymore. Arcturus felt that she was his greatest failure. Not that she herself was a failure, but that the Patriarch had failed to protect her from her parent's dangerous machinations. Sirius had been stunned to hear of her bonding to the Lestrange heir. She had always been the most independent witch he had ever known, and even as removed from the family as he had been at the time, he worried greatly about what would happen to her.

After the Malfoys left, Sirius asked his Patriarch and parents for more information about Bellatrix.

Cygnus and Druella had promised one of their daughters to the Lestrange Heir. After a rather…intense…interrogation by Arcturus, Cygnus admitted that it was the result of insidious scheme by Druella and Lady Lestrange. As the eldest, Andromeda was originally meant to marry Rodolphus, but when she broke the contract and eloped with a muggleborn, the burden fell on her two younger sisters. Narcissa and Lucius had been all but engaged at that point—deliriously in love and already planning their future together. Bellatrix loved her independence and freedom, but she loved her little sister more. Before Arcturus could do anything, she was married to the horrible man and whisked off to Lestrange Manor. All communication with House Black was cut off, and no one saw or heard from Bellatrix for over six months.

Her first time back in public was at the Malfoy's Yule Ball. By all accounts, she seemed incredibly different: a manic look in her eye, and quite unhinged behavior. She was still quite affectionate to Narcissa, but her attitude towards her birth house was very off. There was a desperation hidden under every stilted interaction with a member of House Black. Walburga noted that her niece was rather gaunt and shadowed rather than her usual bright and healthful self. Their worry went up tenfold.

With more pressure than ever, Arcturus spent days pouring over the marriage contract Cygnus had signed. It was rather severe. Bellatrix was unable to maintain any bonds to House Black, and was under the complete control of her bonded and his house. It was one of the most antiquated marriage contracts Arcturus had ever seen. The Patriarch was able to confirm what Narcissa had told Sirius: the only clause in her favor was that Rodolphus could not harm or force her to harm a child of Black blood. If he violated this term, then the contract was immediately magically and legally terminated without need for any other justification or proceeding. Bellatrix would revert to 'Bellatrix Black' be relinquished from the hold of the Lestrange Family Magic, and would be able to leave with anything that was hers originally, or gifted to her. It was the only thing Cygnus bothered to put in (or was able to put in) that was favorable to his daughter. The situation was bleak though.

Sirius prayed to Lady Magic that his cousin would be okay. He prayed with everything in him that she would somehow be able to get out of the contract (without a child of Black blood being hurt), and with her mind still intact—or at least, heal-able.

He looked over to Harry, who was currently shredding parchment with the greatest fascination, and hoped that he would be able to meet his Aunt Bellatrix. Bella had never wanted children herself, but growing up she had always been adamant that she would "tolerate" her sisters' and cousins' children—they all knew she would do way more than just "tolerate" them. She was awkward with Regulus when he was little, but still managed to completely spoil him in her own way.

* * *

It seemed Lady Magic had answered his prayers. If in a slightly unfortunate way.

Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rabastan, and Barty Crouch Jr. had been arrested in Longbottom Manor. They had attacked the Lord and Lady Longbotton, putting them both under Cruciatus for an extended period of time. Bellatrix had been found in the nursery, Heir Neville Longbottom held tightly in her arms, and with her wand drawn but pointed at the doorway protectively rather than at the child. Upon arrest and interrogation, it became apparent that Rodolphus had ordered Bellatrix to kill Heir Longbottom.

Bellatrix was now Bellatrix Black again.

For all that Rodolphus boasted about being the perfect, consummate Pureblood heir, he had never actually been the brightest. It was clear that he did not do his research on his wife's family (or on House Longbottom), else he would have known that Neville's paternal grandmother was a Black. Callidora Black married (then) Heiress Augusta Longbottom. They had one child, Frank Longbottom, who then gave them one grandchild.

Although faint, Black blood still flowed through Neville's veins. Bellatrix had known this, and while she would have never harmed a child anyway, she especially was not going to carry out Rodolphus's orders against her young cousin.

Arcturus, with Attorneys Pryce and Cushing at his back, stormed into the DMLE upon Bellatrix's arrest. It was proven unnecessary though. Auror Moody had been one of the responding aurors, and after single-handedly taking down the three wizards, he was the first to encounter Bellatrix. He made sure she and Neville were both taken care of.

Auror Moody personally questioned Bellatrix, and made she the record very clearly showed that she was under an oppressive contract where she was quite literally unable to ignore her husband's command to go to the Manor with them, and that she never actually fired any spells. He confirmed that she was now Bellatrix Black, and offered his assistance—should she need it—in retrieving her belongings from Lestrange Manor.

Lady Callidora and Lady Augusta were summoned from their French chateau and given their young grandson. Neville hadn't needed a check-up, but they were going to head to St. Mungo's anyway to check on Lord and Lady Longbottom whose conditions were still unknown.

Arcturus was free to take Bellatrix home with him. His granddaughter was shaky, stunned, and seconds away from a breakdown. Auror Moody let them use the guest floo in the department so she wouldn't have to traverse the entire ministry.

* * *

The reunion between Bellatrix and Narcissa was gut-wrenching. The normally poised women were full on sobbing, clinging to each other with everything in them. The Malfoys had arrived only moments before Arcturus. Walburga had floo'd them directly after Arcturus hurried to the Ministry, and they were luckily able to get an international portkey from their Spanish Villa back to London.

Bellatrix had arrived, all her usual grace gone as she stumbled from the floo and fell right into Narcissa's arms. Upon realizing it was her little sister holding her, and feeling Family Magic surge around her in recognition at the long-lost member, she absolutely shattered.

Sirius could only count three times that he had ever seen his eldest cousin cry. The first, he could barely remember as he had been three and Regulus one, but his parents had retold him the story several times while growing up. Andromeda and Bellatrix were left in charge of Narcissa, Sirius, and Regulus for a few hours. Andromeda had ended up sneaking out somewhere and left eleven-year-old Bellatrix alone with the four younger children. It had been complete chaos, and at one point they all thought that they had lost Regulus. It was only Kreacher who cold calm down the frantic, crying Bellatrix. He led her to the nursery where Regulus had crawled behind the plush armchair for a nap. The second, was when he was five and she was thirteen. Her father had very harshly scolded her over the A she had gotten on her first Divination exam. She hadn't wanted to take the class to begin with, but her mother claimed that Care of Magical Creatures wasn't "ladylike"—despite the fact that several Lady Blacks had been acclaimed Magizoologists—and forced her to instead take the useless class. Cygnus had laid into Bellatrix, who had never gotten a mark below E. She stoically withstood the tirade, even as the eyes of the entire extended Black family bore holes into her. It was only after she was banished to her room in the main Family Manor that she let her tears fall. Sirius had slipped out of the room after her, wanting to try and give her some comfort. In a rare moment, Bellatrix let her vulnerability show and hugged her younger cousin tight, crying silently but freely. The third time, had been the day before he ran away. By that time, Bellatrix had been bonded to Lestrange. Sirius had been on the outs enough with his family that he hadn't known exactly how or why the bonding happened. All he had known was that his wild cousin, who had sworn she would never have a marriage bond, was bonded. That morning he had slipped out of the house and travelled to the forest near the Family Manor. He stuck to the outskirts, so the wards wouldn't recognize him and alert that family of his location. Coming to one of his favorite clearings, he could hear spellfire and devasted screaming. Bellatrix was there. She looked completely undone. He had never before seen his cousin that disheveled. Her robes were ripped and burned in places from the explosions caused by her spells. Blasts of fiendfyre shot from her wand, not even forming any concrete shapes as she was too distraught. Tears poured down her face as she screamed and sobbed angrily into the sky. Bellatrix was true madness in that moment. Sirius hadn't understood. He had been too much of a coward to try and comfort his cousin, instead he snuck away, back to the house where he started to pack his belongings. At the time, he blamed his family for Bellatrix's state. He had thought Arcturus had made her marry Rodolphus, because that's just how it was done. Bellatrix's tears just showed him how evil and cruel his family could really be—all of them. He had thought plenty about leaving before then. It hadn't even been the first time he had packed his bags and started for the door. But this time—seeing his strong cousin reduced to such misery—he didn't want to stick around and see what would happen to him too.

How different these tears were from the others. Bellatrix's tears were a combination of relief and happiness that it was all over and she was safe once again, but also tears of sadness and anger about what she had been through. She caught his teary eyes staring at her and reached a hand out to him. This was his unflappable cousin who didn't even question his presence. He grasped her hand. Had it always been this skeletal? This frail? And she tugged him to her and Narcissa. He enveloped both of their slighter forms into his and held on as tight as he dare. These women helped raise him. These women, his precious cousins who loved and protected him unconditionally, were so so broken in this moment. Narcissa was shattering under the guilt she felt, and Bellatrix under the weight of all of the trauma. He swore he would do whatever it took to make it better—even if he had no idea what "better" meant. All three of them were offering useless apologies to each other. Stumbling over their words as they each tried to be heard by the other two. No one really knew what they were apologizing for… "I'm sorry I couldn't save you?" "I'm sorry you had to save me?" "I'm sorry we're all so broken?" "I'm sorry that I don't know how to make it better?" There were too many layers, too many things they knew they would never address.

Sirius' eyes strayed to a small motion by the doorway. His son peeked up at him with confused eyes that were quickly filling with tears because adults were crying so that must mean he should cry too. He motioned to his son, scooped him up as he scrambled over and threw himself at Sirius. Bellatrix wiped her eyes with a handkerchief offered by Orion, sniffled once, twice, and then peered over at Harry.

"This is ickle Harry then?" her usually deep and husky voice was even worse from the crying. At Sirius' nod, she held her hand out to the child, palm up in invitation.

"Hello darling, I'm your Aunt Bellatrix." She cooed.

"Auntie sad?" Harry asked, grasping her index and middle fingers with his tiny, pudgy hand.

"Not anymore, love. Auntie is very happy now." She gave him her sweetest, softest smile, a rare thing to behold.

* * *

_A/N: I am taking absolute fanfic authorship liberty and making it so that Callidora Black bonded to Augusta Longbottom. I believe in canon, she is married to Harfang Longbottom and had two children. It's unclear though how exactly the two are related to Augusta, Frank (and Alice), and Neville. I'm choosing to make the relationship a lot closer to our known Longbottoms, because I said so. I'm imagining that Callidora was originally meant to bond with Harfang, Augusta's younger brother, but Callidora and Augusta had already developed feelings for each other. They were allowed to bond because same-sex bondings are really NBD in this universe and eventually had Frank Longbottom. As of right now, I'm not going to go in-depth on how exactly they were able to have him, but let's just take a mild cop-out now and say it was a potion and ritual._

_Also, I am trying to keep this, as best as I can, from Sirius' POV. We only really know what he knows, or find out things as he finds them out. When I started this story (way too long ago for the amount I have written) it was meant to be a deeply introspective look into Sirius. It still has that root, or at least I hope it does. _

_I think that's it for now? _

_Thank you for reading/favoriting/bookmarking/following/commenting etc. I am terrible at replying to comments, but please know that I do read them all and appreciate them so so so much. They keep me motivated!_

_Apologies again for the very late update. As you can probably gather by now, I am very much a liar and do not update when I say I will. _

_The past few months have been incredibly emotionally and mentally difficult. It didn't feel right to post anything right after the murder of George Floyd and so many others. I lost the will to write… _

_We're seeing many spikes in cases in the US (where I live). Please stay safe: wear masks and social distance as much as possible._

_I hope you are all doing well and staying happy and healthy. And if not, I hope that reading this chapter may give you even the smallest measure of reprieve from whatever you are going through._


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